One thing that is not uncommon is for me to drive our van. I like to drive, so whenever we go anywhere as an entire family I am 99.9% of the time in the driver's seat. After we dropped Carolyn off at the airport (I think any city that only has flights out on certain days doesn't need an airport, they should just call it a landing strip) we were driving home and Alex called up to me from the back of the van and says, "Dad, if I call you Mom it is just because I am not used to having you driving the van". Apparently he felt the awkwardness that was about to occur as I tried to command the ship for the next couple days.
Since I took some "days off" so I can watch the kids I decided that first night that I would do something fun. Xbox is a great way to relax and I hadn't been able to play at all recently, so I sat down after I got the kids in bed. I stood up again at 2:30 in the morning and got into bed about 3:00 just in time for Sydney and Camryn (who share a room and can never wake up by themselves) to come in because Sydney had a dream and was scared. I went to put them back into bed and Sydney said she wanted to sleep in my room one night while mom was gone. I figure hey, this night is half over so get it out of the way. Well not only did I get to bed very late but I didn't actually sleep at all because I had Camryn kicking me in the back until she decided to sit up at 0600 and hit me in the head saying, "I up". Not a great way to start the days and a single parent.
Alex got off to school just fine so then it is time to get the girls dressed. That is not a problem, I've dressed them many, many times. One thing that I do not take care of is hair. Carolyn adopted an amazing compulsion from our good friend Cathie about the girls always having their hair done when they go out in public. I know how important this item is so I will do my best. Sydney's is pretty easy, brush, berrett and done. Camryn is a different story. After a long period of combing and re-combing along with wishing deeply that I had participated in the 1980's hair-band hair, I finally managed something that was presentable, please judge for yourselves and make any comments that will let Carolyn rest easy. I call it "The Deb" (watch Napoleon Dynamite). It is a little hard to tell from the angle but it is off to the side, not on purpose unfortunately, but then again some of the greatest inventions were accidental.
After this attempt I felt much better and have decided to track a portfolio of my work. This next piece I call the Dorothy (check out the shoes). I realize that Dorothy from
Sydney has mostly been good, but did give me many insights into the personal hell I can expect when she is a teenager. Lots of hands on hips and things, you can picture it I'm sure. She went to a friend's house after preschool on Friday and about 4:30 I get a call from the kid's mom. "I just wanted to let you know that our dog nipped at Sydney and she got a little scrape. She kicked our dog who is old and a little angry. She said that she kicks her dog but doesn't get bitten". This is horrible to hear on two accounts:
1. She should never kick any animal and animal kicking is not something we condone (except neighbor's cats that poop in our yard, but we never let the kids see).
2. We never have had and probably never will have a dog.
At least she can think on her feet right?
To continue with the honesty department, Alex won an Icee from school. Friday was nice so he, Camryn and I rode down to the gas station to redeem his coupon. There was not a good place to leave the bikes and I did not want them to fall onto someone's car so I told him to get it on his own. He is almost seven so he should be able to handle this. The coupon was for a 12oz Icee. I told him to look for the 12 oz cup and get that one. He comes out with a 20oz glass (only filled about 18ozs) and I say, "I told you to look for the cup with 12 on it". He replies that the sign had a 12 and that is the cup he took. They let him have it and really what is 20 cents. I had him wait with Camryn and the bikes so I can go to get something for Cam and I. Sure enough one sign says 12 ozs, where the 12 ozs cups are located. The other sign says 21 ozs where the 20 ozs cups are located. We'll be having him checked for dyslexia this week.
To finish this off I will be getting slightly dirty (if you actually consider potty humor dirty) so read on at your own risk. After weeks and months of mostly constipation from Camryn, I was the big winner of the poop sweepstakes. I have changed way more poopy diapers than any one person should in 4 days. I will be buying South Dakota state lottery tickets to see if my streak continues.
We will be very excited to have mom home tomorrow, who will be coming back to us at the ripe old age of 31 since her birthday is that day. Please direct all "old" jokes and snide remarks below.
Aaron, out!
